The One's We Let Go Are Always The Hardest To Hold
by WhenIGoDown
Summary: They say that time will make this all go away but it took my tomorrows and turned them into yesterdays. I had to do this or else Id go insane. I had to set you free but you'll always belong to me. It's not rape if I know you felt it too. Sanji X Zoro YAOI


I'm sorry, I'm sorry I just had to do it. I had to do it to him for you. He was the rot that was rooted in the back of your brain. He was the weights that made you sink. He was the cage that restricted your freedom. He was the bitter to your sweetness. He was the pain of your imaginary cancer. He was everything he shouldn't have been so I killed him for you. I killed him for your freedom.

Didn't you ever wonder if I was more then I appeared? Not as vacant in my mind as I appeared? Or did you subject yourself to the common misconceptions of the world? I have feelings and a heart, I just chose the sword and I'm sorry to hurt you this way. I regret leaving you lonely and open to the world, left chasing after those girls like you do. But these hands were made to kill not to be tender. They are stained with the blood of many, an unforgivable sin to your standards.

Your name lingers on my tongue like a forbidden word as my hands warm myself in pleasurable ways that I, being so naive, never thought replaceable. Oh how wrong I am to think this as it's nothing compared to the real thing. But you're asleep now and unwilling to be with me as you've always been. So I take to grunting, gasps and short moans your name slipping its way in there as it snakes through my common sense.

"Sanji," I manage to form together through my senses one word.

Of course it is not perfect, of course it is not the most poetic word I could conjure inside myself but it can do. It will do for this moment. This action of selfish self relief is just another way to appease to ourselves how lonely we are that we take to our hand. But the comfort it brings is just enough to get by for so long. You'd be mine tonight if I had any other way. I can sense your need that lingers off the smoke you breathe and I can smell the desire through your cool domineers.

Morning light comes and we are alone. You and I have the rest of this to be alone. You scream in agony at them. They are all dead, every last one of them and you know it was I. But we're too far out at sea and you can't leave since you know you are trapped. I told you through my eyes they had to die. You gave me the look that makes you so lost. So lost because of your new freedom, you were so used to being trapped. It's alright you can be free my dear Sanji. You can be free with me.

I grab onto you, stripping you of your senses and sending new alarms to go off in your mind. You scream and yell, trying to kick me but to no avail as I'm too close to you now. Your voice is leaking with the desire to wake up from what you hope to be a dream that I know it's a reality.

"How can you act like it's alright? You fucked up my life! Get away from me you MURDERER!" he barrels his voice into a thunder cloud and I'm the lightning.

He thinks I'd hurt him, he thinks he's next and I know he's so wrong.

"I did it for you..." my voice lingers in his ear as I hold him close. "Let them rot, you're free now. You're free to be what you want to be. You're free to be with me."

I close the gap between our faces as he sobs. Numb to the touch on a body I know was once so warm. Did I disappoint you again my love? We can drown together and slip down into what we truly feel. Down as far as our bindings will allow us and just far down enough that we're together for what we can feel is forever.

"I love you so," my voice licks his heart and rests deep inside his mind.

You struggle to break free, why are you doing this to me? Sanji please, don't fight with me as I can only take so much. I want the best of you for I am forever your fool. I broke the chains that held you bounded to painful memories and I separated you from the rest of the world, so you can never go onto someone new. I gave you something to hang onto and you could never loose, me.

So I lean in, making the first move that I know you must desire. Your heart is so raped by this trauma that you are looking for something to get out from. You're such a man though, trying to hold your pride as you attempt to break free as I grind our hips together. You're succumbing to me as you nest your whines behind your screams of swears and cursing me to whatever God is out there. Our lips contact and I knew you'd try to move your head so I slam you against the wall to the bedrooms, wrap my arm around you to constrict you and use the other to comb through your hair and hold you steady. Oh it feels as I always imagined, soft and smooth like the finest of silk. I get that more excited for the events to come.

In grief you seek comfort and with my lips on yours you open them up to allow a tongue to gently bind with yours. The feeling is a source of comfort to you and I can assure you that the pain you feel is real. Very real is my hearts feelings and the pain and love you lost today. While you were sleeping I took them for you. I raped every one of them to shame them for what they did; I intruded their will and let them bleed to death after snapping their necks and disabling their bodies. I wanted them to be aware of what happened as I reclaimed for our love.

You want to breathe for air but I won't let you. Instead I begin taking off your clothes and the daggers of your sorrow leach their way into your eyes. I only kiss you harder, don't cry my dear. They're all dead now, no reason to cry and be sad about it now.

Fingers invade you where you never thought possible and I took your faith in this world. I took everything and made your only solution to be mine. Now I have to take you, take you 

again and again. I want you smothered in my adoration and the pleasure of our feelings. And so I inject you with a toxin that clouds your senses and makes you limp. You're still aware and your muscles still at ease and you can feel everything. You just can't move or preach your concerns. Off comes your clothes, strip yourself of your virgin mind and free your body to the cool ocean breeze of my zeal.

I become naked as well exposing the truth of our blatant events to come. Oh how I adore thee, oh how I belong to thee. I couldn't express in words the feelings I have bottled inside to you but in this I will. I want to hurt you as you have hurt me with waiting but I'd never kill you as you had killed me.

"I love you," uttering my contentment with your acts so far. "Oh how I love how you cry..."

I climb atop of you. I want you doused in passion and soaked in semen. To be mine and only mine is my hearts true desires. It isn't rape if you want it and you do, oh the yearning and craving for me I know you hold. The need and aspiration of that begging look in your eyes. SO I slam myself into your mouth, choking you a bit as I do so but it's the sound of love I know you hold.

I scream to the heavens as I've wanted this for far too long. Too long have I waited to take you as mine. My boy is everything and to be like this forever. I bite hard onto my lower lip as I grunt. Your face expresses a lost look gone astray from the real world and I know you feel numb to the world. Perplexed with my sanity but I assure you this is nothing short of real love. I can only finish myself in your mouth as I don't want to waste you in such a fragile and susceptible way.

I move down, grasping your legs and you look like such a beautiful doll. Your face smothered in my semen as all you can hope to do is swallow it. I lean down and suck on you just enough to get you hard. Your porcelain skin tells me that you've never done this before or so I hope you haven't. We'll soon find out any secrets you might have. So I position myself and ram myself inside. I don't need lube, I don't need preparations to you, you just need to know the feeling of me. A feeling I know you'll feel for the rest of your life.

With passionate eyes I slay the dragons of your heart. Watch you cry salty tears filled with grunts of agony that I know were meant to be screams and lose yourself a little more inside. And this will go on until I feel finished, this will continue until I feel satisfied. This will continue until I know you can no longer hate me, you'll only bloom your heart with true love.

I yearn to please you, to scratch the itch of need and to demolish the feeling of loneliness. You are mine and I killed them for you. You're the bird I set free but you will only belong to me.


End file.
